I have several questions rolling around in my head this morning for some reason, so I’m gonna let y’all help me with them.
1. Why is it NOT okay for me to dress up as a Poorly-Behaved 1950’s Housewife for Halloween (according to Chuckweasel), but is IS okay for Chuckweasel to tell the water company repairman that I’ll be home when he comes to work on it because he doesn’t let me leave the house? I’ll have you know, I CHOOSE not to leave the house, because going outside involves interacting with, as Lee Ann so aptly puts it, “the GenPop.” And Hoody don’t play that.
2. Why does Callie Jean’s voice completely change between her regular, “Hey, Mom, make with the Easy Cheese,” meow she uses with me to a deep, kinda slutty “Hey, Sailor,” throaty voice when she sings to her stray cat boyfriends? And why does she only sing to the boyfriends when I’m at work — she’ll do it in front of Chuckweasel, but not me.
3. Why am I always starving plumb to death at work where there is no food (at least not that you would want to eat), but when I get home where there IS food I don’t want any?
4. Why isn’t there a number 4?
5. What’s with Fred’s neckerchief?
Answers expected in the form of an essay or chemical formula. Please show your work.