Hoody Woos

No, not the kind of woo that you pitch — Chuckweasel’s pretty much whipped, I don’t have to be sweet to his ass anymore (love ya, baby!).  I mean the kind of woo that is used to express one’s appreciation for something… the kind that is generally followed by “hoo.”

Lordamercy, I have hollered like a redneck so much this weekend that I actually gave myself a sore throat!  But I am truly my Dear Sweet Mama’s daughter, and if I don’t scream and holler, no one would know I was having fun.  Besides, that’s kinda my role in our DJ business — if I woo-hoo and dance and in general make an ass of myself, other people feel comfortable having fun of their own.  So it’s a PUBLIC SERVICE.

I have learned a few things, however…  For instance, when we did a middle school dance on Friday, we discovered that wee children do not understand the concept of song requests… they seem to see them more as song DEMANDS.  Also, Chuckweasel is much more of a saint than I am, because he remains sweet to the precious snowflakes, whereas I eventually start responding to all their questions with “WHAT?” or the variation, “What NOW?”

Fastly forward to Saturday, when we worked a charity chili cookoff… I learned that green chili is not as nasty as I had initially thought.  I also learned later that the green chili remains green throughout the entire digestive process… and beyond, if you catch my meaning.  Which is weird, because regular red chili doesn’t retain its original color…

Other than that, we simply reconfirmed that drunk girls fucking LOVE me, and will continue buying me shots til the cows come home… I guess in the hopes of getting me drunk and taking advantage of me?  Chuckweasel could tell them that A) Getting me drunk is a lot harder than they think, and B) It usually results in me acting belligerent and/or falling over.  Of course, I am often belligerent and/or collapsible while SOBER, too, so it may just be my personality.

Advertisements

12 Comments

Filed under He's the DJ I'm the Rapper, La Vida Loca, Random Thoughts

12 responses to “Hoody Woos

  1. A weekend of woo hoos is a weekend worth having. A lesson on green chili progression does not go down easy first thing in the morning while eating an egg sandwich.

    But now I want to make green chili.

    Like

  2. I’m getting the recipe from one of the corporate challenge people (who didn’t win but I thought had the best chili — pork, chicken AND hot sausage in it!) — unlike the real chili competitors, the regular people WILL share recipes! And now I want an egg sandwich, so we’re even.

    Like

  3. Wow I can’t eat chilli myself but you have to share that recipe so I can feed it to D and family and then laugh hysterically when they discover a fact of life the next day 🙂 haha 🙂

    Like

    • I’m not really sure why, but green chili seems to cause more, shall we say, “distress” than the red kind… maybe it’s the green tomatoes? So make sure you have something around the house to make them all sneeze… the looks on their faces should be priceless!

      Like

  4. The green chili lesson will come in very handy. The Boy is going to take me to New Mexico for my chili education – after mumbling and shaking his head sadly when I asked “so, ‘green’ is not a type of chili?”

    Like

    • I am sadly uneducated as well — the only chili rule I ever knew was “If you know beans about chili, you know that chili has no beans” — apparently that’s the rule in Texas. But I always put beans in my red chili, and all the green chilis had white beans, so I don’t know. One of them even had BARLEY, which is just wrong.

      Like

      • Apparently, when a New Mexican asks for a green chili burger they do not want chili at all but slices of chilis. And for a long while you couldn’t get such a thing north of the Colorado/NM border. Then, thanks to Food Network and Travel Channel, I found some restaurants in Denver. The burger is actually called the ABQ. Now, nine years after his journey north, we have found some places above the Wyoming/Colorado border that will slice a chili for The Boy.

        Like

  5. Oh god, as a New Mexico… I’m torn when it comes to green chile. I want everyone to love it but I really don’t because then we’d have to share and that wouldn’t be cool. Seriously, we like green chile on everything. We even have our green chile beer and wine…

    Like

    • Oh, don’t I know. And you have to put them on everything because your stomachs and taste buds are fried. My mother made The Boy some chipotle chocolate cookies that, even with a full glass of milk (I now know I should have had orange juice), made my stomach burn. And burn. And burn. The Boy? He ate his as he was leaving the house – not fortified with any type of beverage – and said it wasn’t really very hot. WHAT?!?

      Like

  6. I want to know why the green sauce is always hotter than the red sauce??? I have eaten some very hot red or orange peppers, and some very mild green or yellow ones, but the sauce rule remains the same!

    Like

  7. I screamed “Kill the Princess!” and “Die Motherfucker!” so much at Medieval Times I was hoarse for a day or two myself.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s