Hi, My Name Is Hoody…

… and I’m a word-snob.

Yes, I admit it, I do indeed judge people by the way they speak.  Terrible redneck accent?  Dumbass (note:  this does not apply to SOUTHERN accents, which I myself not only like but also have.  This is for those people you just KNOW are named “Cooter.”). 

Poor word choice?  Idiot.  Repeated use of  “like” and “ya know?”  Teenager or teenager-wanna-be.  But the one that chaps my ass the most has GOT to be “supposably.” 

Seriously?  That’s NOT how you say it!  And the minute you DO say it that way, I lose all respect for you and you have no credibility.  Jesus Christ could come walking down the street handing out pamphlets with all the secrets of the Ark of the Covenant in them, and if I said, “Hey, Jesus, does this mean the world is coming to an end?” and He said “Supposably” — that’s it.  I would not believe a word He said.

I was raised to be correct in both word choice and pronunciation, so that, as my grandmother said, people would not think I was from “out the crick.”  And now that I talk for a living, OF COURSE that’s not my real voice, my real voice sounds like a phone sex line in Mayberry.  But the next time somebody tells me “you sure sound different on the radio,” I’mown hit ’em.  ‘Cause there’s a distinct possibility that ISN’T a compliment.

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13 Comments

Filed under La Vida Loca, Random Thoughts, Weep for Humanity

13 responses to “Hi, My Name Is Hoody…

  1. 🙂 My pet peeve is something like “could of”. That makes no sense — it’s “could have”. HAVE! Not OF!

    🙂

    Glad I got that off my chest.

    Pearl

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  2. Dear Sweet Mama

    You come from a long line of word snobs, darlin’. Your gramma made me pick a word from the dictionary each day and use it several times in a sentence – “so that it is yours”. And I am sure you remember dinner conversations around “but why was it wonderful” “What made it the most exciting thing you ever did?” Poor little thing – being trained as a wordy early on. And for me, it is pronunciation. Use your syllables, children.

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    • yep, we can’t use “awesome,” “amazing,” “incredible” or any words like that… because truly, it’s not very likely that the burrito you just ate REALLY filled you with actual AWE… but if it did, where’d you get it?

      Like

  3. Chuckweasel

    Don’t forget about “ir-regardless”. That one drives me nuts. At least I know who I’m dealing with when I hear that one pop out.

    Like

  4. Ooooh, my big thing is the use of “myself.” People use it incorrectly ALL THE TIME because they think it sounds smart. It doesn’t make you sound smart; it makes you sound like you shouldn’t have passed seventh grade grammar. And, what is worse by far, is that when I use “me” correctly I know people are judging my lack of “myself”ness. Grrrrrrr.

    Believe ME, I know MYSELF and MY knowledge of grammar.

    Like

    • on a related note, I also hate “If I do say so myself” — really, jackass? Who else do you think I might think was saying the words that are coming out of your mouth? Are you a ventriloquist’s dummy?

      Like

  5. I am the EXACT same way!

    Also, if you have survived into your thirties and still don’t know which there/their/they’re to use? I am disgusted.

    And in conversation if you have the gall to utter the letters L O L as if “el-oh-el” was actually a word, I am finished speaking with you.

    It makes me sad to watch the language crumble by the wayside.

    Like

    • NO TEXT SLANG IN SPOKEN CONVERSATION! BAD! VERY BAD! Okay, got that out of my system. I also hate the there/their/they’re impaired, as well as the its/it’s people and the too/to/two people — I blame the fact that people don’t read books anymore.

      Like

  6. Good call, @ angiharper — when in doubt, use something else so as to avoid looking stupid!

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    • Absolutely. I also use this philosophy for affect/effect. Don’t bother trying to explain the difference; I can’t get it to sink in and “impact” works just as well.

      Like

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