Only in WBGV!

Only in Wes’ BYGAWD Virginny can you find someone who refers to himself as a “foodie,” then spends the next 15 minutes waxing eloquent on the wonderful virtues of the food at Waffle House.  Now, I do love me some Waffle House, but isn’t a foodie supposed to be one of those elite jackholes who eat nothing but truffles and that blowfish sushi that kills you if it’s prepared wrong?  Not someone who is regularly torn between hash browns with just cheese or hash browns with cheese AND GRAVY.

Chuckweasel has gotten used to the fact that I tend to plan vacations or even short trips by what there is to eat (in fact, I think he’s beginning to do it himself!).  For example:

Cincinnati:  Skyline Chili, White Castle, and the Newport Hofbrauhaus across the river.  On the way home:  Lee’s Fried Chicken.

Pittsburgh:  Our really good flat-iron steak place that we can’t remember the name of, Primanti Brothers (next trip, baby!).

Charlotte:  Maggiano’s Little Italy, Popeye’s and/or Bojangles Fried Chicken, ANY Mexican place (they have a lot, and they’re all good!)

Baltimore:  Phillip’s Crab House, Ruth’s Chris (moment of silence), anyplace in Little Italy

Myrtle Beach:  Three words:  CALABASH. SEAFOOD. BUFFET.  Also, Joe’s Crab Shack.

The Outer Banks:  (where  Hoody and Dear Sweet Mama regularly eat their weight in happiness) Rundown Cafe and Tsunami Bar (the soup, oh lord, the soup), Mama Kwan’s, Dirty Dick’s Crab Shack (where DSM overcomes her hatred of both their name and their slogan — “I got crabs from Dirty Dick’s” — because their cheese grits are JUST. THAT. GOOD.).  And of course, the MOTHERFUCKING DUNEBURGER — have one, you’ll never be the same.

Even places right here near ta’ home have important foods — Parkersburg is the home of Rubin’s Reubens, Barboursville has a stand-alone Chik-Fil-A AND a Waffle House, and Ashland, KY?  Fiesta Bravo, baby.

I also eat some pretty disgusting things (like braunschweiger on toast and the Legendary Weenie Delight) — but that’s a post for another day…

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19 Comments

Filed under La Vida Loca, Only in Wes' BYGAWD Virginny

19 responses to “Only in WBGV!

  1. Even though I grew up and still visit Barboursville, I have never been to Waffle House. My parents are Bob Evans apostles. But when in Barboursville, I have to get a Gino’s Pizza pizza sandwich, even though I can swear they’re not quite as good as when I was younger and that I know how they make them and let’s just say it would make a roadkill inspector cry.
    Back in my favorite place to live, SoCal, I was a regular at both a Dirty Dick’s (which is not a Dirty Dick’s Crab Shack, just a really really fun bar-n-grill, and Joe’s Crab Shack, where I got my I Got Crabs shirt and wear it here to confuse the locals and make them give me wide berth at the Mart du Wal.

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  2. Did you ever have the Gino’s Pubwich? They used to only make it with ham, but they make it with STEAK now! Come visit, we’ll get one… or twelve… And just so you know, “Mart du Wal” is GENIUS!

    PS — Waffle House is not really for eating at, it’s for sobering up at.

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  3. Whenever Kiefer and I plan a vacation, I’m always the one that says, “And while we’re there, we need to eat at….”

    I’m currently considering making a road trip just to visit a Sonic.

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    • There’s also a Sonic in Barboursville, but I’ve never been due to my crippling fear of carhops. See, I once went to Stewart’s Hotdog’s (just down the road in Huntington, WBGV) and unbeknownst to me, it’s a carhop place. Not knowing this, I parked and walked into the little central hut to place my order… I’m sure they thought I was gonna rob the joint! Ever since, I can’t look a carhop in the face.

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  4. Chris Cochran

    Weenie delight- the only meal that requires a sandblaster to clean the pan. Is the Ship’s Wheel still open in O.B.

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    • Dear Sweet Mama

      Yes, Chris – the Ship’s Wheel – famed by Eat a Big Breakfast and almost put us both under the table last summer when we were there. We should have fasted the night before. It was wonderful. We always remember the year you went with us – it would be fun to have a reunion there with you and Court and the kids. We stay at a place so cheap that the roaches won’t bring you a towel, but then spend all our money on food and drink.

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      • Chris — Shaddup, you know it’s best to just throw the pan out!
        DSM — The roaches may not bring you a towel, but your little entourage of Eastern European housekeepers was certainly attentive! : )

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  5. OH MY GOD…Skyline Chili….White Castle… My kingdom for both!

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    • I know, it’s about a 3-and-a-half hour drive for me… I’m seriously considering it. The Skyline you can buy in the grocery stores here is ALRIGHT… but it’s not the same, and the frozen White Castle burgers ain’t even close!

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  6. Here is my Waffle House story and why I have never eaten there since:

    I was sitting at the counter, behind the grill when movement caught my eye. I looked and what did I behold? A Palmetto Bug (a huge flying cockroach) climbing the wall. He lost his footing on the grease and fell into a pile of hashbrowns. The cook then tossed on some cheese and onions, stirred them a tad on the grill and flopped the pile on a plate. I quickly paid my check and left.

    You’re welcome.

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    • That’s why you really should only eat there when you’re totally plastered — my theory is that the alcohol in your stomach protects you from what you’re shoveling into your mouth! And if you can eat at Waffle House without gastric distress… you might be an alcoholic.

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  7. I have never heard of any of these places and am now plotting trips south and east just to try them out. Because my family vacations for food. The only reason to DO stuff is to burn off one meal before we go to the next. This is why my family is short and chunky (well, I don’t think eating made us short…) and The Boy, who wants good food but doesn’t plan it four months ahead of time, is tall and skinny.

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    • Good food MUST be planned! Dear Sweet Mama and I will actually sit at breakfast (which was planned the night before) and plan where we will eat lunch WHILE WE’RE STILL EATING BREAKFAST! Often Chuckweasel and I will leave a vacation later than we had intended (thus getting home very late) simply so we can squeeze in ONE MORE MEAL! We may need help… or at least tartar sauce.

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  8. By the way, the ONLY recomendation I got from my family about visiting San Francisco? The fried donut place on the pier.

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  9. Skyline Chili is a must for a Cincinnatti ballgame and who can resist Waffle House.

    http://timkeen40.wordpress.com

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    • That’s how you know somebody is a zombie or a communist — you take them to a Reds game, and if they eat ANYTHING but a coney (or twelve) you shoot them. You’re also required to drink your weight in beer and eat a little sundae in a baseball cap…. because that prepares you for Waffle House the next day.

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