Bar Trivia

(Note:  This is not the kind of Bar Trivia that requires you to know facts or anything, this is the myriad crap I learn while working at the bar each weekend.  No facts were harmed in the creation of this post.)

1.  Men see nothing wrong with using the question, ” Are you married?” as their one and only pick up line.  (Just a hint — it’s almost always best to say “yes” — whether it’s true or not).

2.  Again with the t-shirts!  Do not wear a shirt that says “Sex Instructor,” if you look like all you could teach is The Joy of Celibacy!

3.  The reason “Puttin’ on the Ritz,” is not on my Falco tape is because Falco did not do that song.  Sorry for all the cussing, Falco.

4.  Women in their 20’s are even more casually bisexual than they were back when I was one of them… these girls must make it very difficult to be a lesbian!

5.  If a guy grabbed me by the boob, Chuckweasel would kill him, but when a girl does it, he thinks it’s funny.  Or he may have been laughing at my surprised and somewhat shocked face, since I am usually the CAUSE of that face, not the wearer of it.

That’s about it — stay tuned for future lessons!

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14 Comments

Filed under He's the DJ I'm the Rapper, Random Thoughts, Weep for Humanity, WTF???

14 responses to “Bar Trivia

  1. Haha you should explain to chuckweasel the casual bisexualness of the 20yr old, then highlight the woman grabbing your boob, maybe next time he’ll do a little more than laugh.

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    • he says he’s not worried about the casual bisexualness because the girls are drunk. Which I think may mean he thinks I couldn’t get a SOBER 20-year-old girl, which I think… pisses me off? Move over and make room on the Confused Bench, Pearl.

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  2. A very drunk woman grabbed my butt Friday night. I’m so confused. When did casual bisexuality come into fashion?

    Pearl

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    • It was in for awhile when I was in my 20’s, but I think there was more actual experimentation going on back then (my poor ol’ Dad blamed Madonna). Now, it’s like it’s just expected if you go out to a bar, some chick is going to stick her tongue down your throat! Whatever happened to buying me a damn drink???

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  3. Poor Falco. I weep for him.

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  4. How does anyone casually grab a boob? I feel old.

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    • it’s not something I myself have the panache to do… but this little chickie just reached over while she was talking to me and grabbed right on! And she didn’t even make the “honk” sound!

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  5. It’s been so long since I hung out at a bar or club… God, I’m getting old.

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    • please, before we got this job, Chuckweasel and I only went to bars when we were out of town… and usually already pretty hammered from a baseball game… And all the things I’m noticing now that I’m in a bar mostly sober… kinda make me wonder what-all I did way back when…

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  6. I once saw a guy wearing a t-shirt that said “Amateur Gynecologist.” It made me want to barf. Because I don’t like gynecologists, obviously.

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  7. Huh, I’ve never had a chick grab my boob, nor have I done it. Only really old guys have ever randomly copped a feel. WTF is that? I’d much rather be groped by a chick than some creepy old dude. (And let me just add that I tend to date them rather old – these guys were even older than my already-generous preference. Eeew. I’m getting creeped out just remembering.)

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  8. it’s weird, if a creepy old dude grabbed my boob, I’d haul off and smack him one and have him thow’d outta my bar! But when chicks do it, it’s like vapor-lock — I don’t know how to react!

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