So I’m leaving for work and Chuckweasel asks me, “What’s today’s blog about?” “Cause he’s so cute and supportive of my nonsense. And I told him I wasn’t sure, ’cause I really didn’t have anything in the ol’ cooker… until I got in the car.
Since I go in to work at Oh-Dark-30, I get to listen to Coast to Coast with George Noory on the radio — which is a show for insomniacs and wackos and insomniac wackos. It’s got everything from aliens to the Illuminati, and today’s guest was a guy who wants to cut out the “middle man” in economics — like so instead of you selling tomatoes to WalMart and then them selling them to me, you just sell them to me and fuck Walmart, fuck them right in the ear. And given my recent decision to acquire a horsie so as to fuck Exxon, I figured this bore some further thought.
Now, money is basically a made up concept anyway, so I think the key here is to not have money anymore. We only really need money because of businesses, because they don’t have room to store all the chickens and goats and what have you if we were just trading. Like my job — people could listen to me on the radio, and if they liked it, they could drop off a basket of eggs or a wheel of cheese. And then if I already had enough eggs, I could trade them to someone else for a loaf of bread, and Bob’s your uncle — omelet and toast.
I just don’t know if we can get everybody to agree to this, especially companies like credit cards, which really can’t exist without the concept of money, and will not accept payments in chickens (WTF, Visa?). And it’s pretty much something EVERYBODY has to do, or else we’re all going to switch to the Chickens-Currency-Standard and then someone like China who we owe a bazillion dollars to is not gonna wanna take chickens and then there’s a war. Also, I guess we’ll need to figure out the exchange rate, but really I think we can all just handle that amongst ourselves… like I will give you a ride on my horsie in exchange for you cooking me a hot dinner, and you will take the ride over to your friend’s house to drop off the sack of beans you owe him from poker night. See? GENIUS.