I Was Born at Night…

(all together now) … but it wasn’t LAST night!  That’s why I can’t believe all the oil company tycoons think I’m actually STUPID enough to believe that gas prices have ANYTHING to do with reality!

Yes, I understand the Middle East is full of oil.  Yes, I also understand that the Middle East has been fucked up as of late.  But you fuckers raised the prices IMMEDIATELY — way before the current fucked-upded-ness could have had any sort of effect!  And don’t give me that crap about how price speculation is part of business… fuck that, you’re not speculating, you’re GOUGING, and you’re creating a perceived shortage where there really isn’t one!

Also, I don’t wanna hear about how your transportation costs are so high.  I live AN HOUR from the closest refinery, and you know why I don’t just drive over there myself?  BECAUSE YOU FUCKERS KEEP RAISING THE PRICE OF GAS! 

Plus, for some reason, Wes’ BYGAWD Virginny has some of the nation’s highest taxes on gas… and yet our roads are still all tore up to bejeezus and back.  Where’s mah money, guvmint?

Whew.  I feel better now.  Maybe I’ll see if I can find them Mennonites in their van and see if they have a horse they’re not using.  Grain’s gotta be cheaper than gas, plus I’d have a horsie!  Yay!



Filed under Random Thoughts, Weep for Humanity, WTF???

11 responses to “I Was Born at Night…

  1. Just remember to put a hose on the horsie’s arse when you park at home, to siphon off the methane from the horsie farts and use it for…. uh, well, I know there’s some use for it, it’s a science thing and I don’t do science this early.
    I don’t really do much of anything this early. Or anyone.
    Ha! I keed.
    Maybe. Maybe I don’t kid this early either. Sure as hell aren’t funny this early. But I do like saying “this early.”


    • I don’t think the horsie is gonna let me put a hose up its wazoo — maybe I could attach some sort of collection bag like on a lawn mower? But we probably don’t need to worry about that THIS EARLY… hah!


  2. Yay a horsey!! It used to cost £150 per month to run a horse with food, shelter, board n lodge, insurance (was the biggest cost at £100 per month) I’d so use a horse if I had somewhere to keep it when I reach my destination, we need to get those ol’ hitching posts back.


  3. Grab a buggy with that horse, or your ass would be getting sore otherwise, not that all our asses ain’t ’bout to be raped by the oil company.


  4. or at least leave a hundo on the nightstand! STOP MAKING US FEEL SO CHEAP!


  5. Jena

    No shit sista! You’re preaching to the choir!

    LOL @ the comments! Don’t forget chocolate!


    • I know, right? It really hits me when I’m watching old movies (from the far off daysof the 90’s, no less!) and they show a gas station sign with like $1.69 on it or something… grrrrr!


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