(all together now) … but it wasn’t LAST night! That’s why I can’t believe all the oil company tycoons think I’m actually STUPID enough to believe that gas prices have ANYTHING to do with reality!
Yes, I understand the Middle East is full of oil. Yes, I also understand that the Middle East has been fucked up as of late. But you fuckers raised the prices IMMEDIATELY — way before the current fucked-upded-ness could have had any sort of effect! And don’t give me that crap about how price speculation is part of business… fuck that, you’re not speculating, you’re GOUGING, and you’re creating a perceived shortage where there really isn’t one!
Also, I don’t wanna hear about how your transportation costs are so high. I live AN HOUR from the closest refinery, and you know why I don’t just drive over there myself? BECAUSE YOU FUCKERS KEEP RAISING THE PRICE OF GAS!
Plus, for some reason, Wes’ BYGAWD Virginny has some of the nation’s highest taxes on gas… and yet our roads are still all tore up to bejeezus and back. Where’s mah money, guvmint?
Whew. I feel better now. Maybe I’ll see if I can find them Mennonites in their van and see if they have a horse they’re not using. Grain’s gotta be cheaper than gas, plus I’d have a horsie! Yay!