Supah Sweet

Oh, it’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood today, campers!  FIRSTLY of all, the combination of Chuckweasel’s disdain for cheese biscuits and the rookie waiter’s ignorance that I was pouring whole basket-fuls into the takeout box has resulted in my having not only EATEN my weight in cheesy buttery goodness, but also CARTED SOME HOME!  Then SECUNDUS, I got to work this morning to discover that for some unknown reason the upstairs computer was already awake, so I didn’t have to climb up the creepy, tilty possibly-haunted stairs!  And THIRD-A-MUNDO, tonight is the opening night for Chuckweasel and me at our bar gig, so I’mown get my groove on!

There is some sadness, though… I have finally accepted that I can no longer drink the big ol’ fishbowl full of pina colada they have at the Red Lobster (cleverly called a “Lotta Colada”)… because I believe I am allergic to pina.  Not to colada, ’cause that’s coconut and I can still eat the World’s Most Gluttonous Soup which is made with coconut milk (Rundown Cafe and Tsunami Bar in Kitty Hawk, NC — get the Rundown Soup and the conch fritters and eat ’til they have to roll you out).  So it must be the pina, ’cause that’s really the only time I’m exposed to pina (in the pineapple sense, you pervy bitches).  This is even more upsetting than when Dear Sweet Mama and I discovered that we were allergic to the peach margarita mix at the yummy Mexican place, because all that did was make our lips go numb, so we just drank them anyway.  The pina thing, though, it makes my throat close up and I can’t breathe and then I throw up, so no more pina for Hoody. 

I’ll just have to switch to the Lobster’s Malibu Hurricanes… further proof that the colada was not to blame.



Filed under Adventures with Dear Sweet Mama, He's the DJ I'm the Rapper, La Vida Loca, SCIENCE!

12 responses to “Supah Sweet

  1. oh noes 😦 I hope your throat didn’t do the close and vomit thing while you were out for dinner 😦 Kiwi fruit’s make my lips go numb…and if i keep eating them my tongue goes numb..then if I’m still eating them it goes burny and then if I still haven’t quit it starts to swell up. I believe it all dates back to my childhood when I ate 8 consecutive kiwi’s while sat in bed – I don’t know why, I just have the memory of it being very late, me being sat in bed eating them and my dad bringing me kiwi after kiwi cut up on a plate…maybe I was poorly?.


  2. Nah, the throat-closey thing happened the LAST time, we went to the Lobster, so I didn’t have the Pina Colada this time… I hate being a grown up! And it sounds like your dad is some sort of weird fruit enabler… who would give a child that much kiwi???


    • MY dad would have given me that much kiwi. He once let me eat an entire package of hot dogs when my mother let him take the kids camping without her. And boy did HE pay the consequences.


      • my poor dad used to do similarly stupid crap… it’s like they try so hard, but they just DO NOT understand that perhaps a 4 year old should not be allowed to eat her weight in chili!


  3. Dear Sweet Mama

    If you eat an entire shrimp ring by yourself, you also exceed your lifetime limit for shrimp and can no longer eat it. I think it is God’s way of trying to remind us of that gluttony thing. Also, do you remember that night of the peach margaritas and the concubine going and sleeping in the car? That was fun.


  4. I am allergic to daiquiris or more precisely Rum. It’s just that what is rum without all that strawberry goodness? I break out in these huge hives and look somewhat like a giraffe. Never wear cleavage exposing tops when you look like a giraffe ho… people will notice.




    • I also accidentally discovered this weekend that they are even BETTER with sour cream on them (there was cross-contamination from the baked potato in the take out box). OH. DEAR. GOD.


  6. Kitten, alcohol is supposed to make you go numb.


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