As we all know, I’m an ENORMOUS dork. Which means I spend a lot of my downtime watching stuff like the History Channel and National Geographic, so’s I can get my learn on.
My latest discovery: The Phaistos disk. Which is a mysterious disk found on Crete with symbols carved on it that no one has been able to decipher. One of the symbols looks like a cracker, another one looks like a cookie, there’s a couple that just look like sticks, a man’s head, and one the archaeologist guy says is a boat. Well, fine, then. I know what it says.
It says, “Get you some Nabs, and some Lorna Doone’s, and maybe some pretzel sticks. People will like it, and you can take it on the boat.” It’s either a shopping list or a recipe for Minoan Chex Mix. YOU’RE WELCOME, science.
And at the end of the show, they said it was probably a prayer to the Mother Goddess — well, duh. Of course your mama tells you to take a snack with you. There’s probably a symbol on there for “Don’t forget your jacket,” too.
Yes, I realize I have once again related everything to food. I can’t help it, this weather makes me want to eat and eat until my fat little elbow can’t bend to get food in my mouth. I made my seafood salad yesterday and I ate THREE sammiches — I gave myself the excuse that the croissants were smaller than I wanted, but to be honest, I’m just a little piggy when it comes to fake krab and mayonaisse. I’m just going to eat and eat until none of my pants fit, and then I’ll sew them all together into one big Super-Pant that will astound the fashion world and make me bazillions of dollars… which I will spend on fake krab and mayonaisse. And a servant to put chicken legs in my mouth. Mmmm, chicken legs…