My brain is still stuck on food like nobody’s bidness — I think it’s all the damn cold and snow making me want to pack on some insulating blubber. Which put me on the couch eating tacos just in time to become irate.
Maybe I’m stupid, but I find it INCREDIBLY offensive that people are still starving on this planet while, at the same time, one can purchase kitty litter made out of whole kernel corn. WHAT? This is so much worse than the arguments against the corn-to-ethanol-fuel thing… at least that’s helping the environment. But CAT LITTER? That shit was ALREADY biodegradable, so the only benefit of using corn is to cut down on smells… which aren’t so bad if you keep the pan clean, you lazy, capitalist fuckheads.
And at least the fuel-corn is nasty, tough, fucked up corn. Bitch on the cat litter commercial FUCKING EATS IT so obviously it’s just fine for human consumption. Why don’t I just fill Callie Jean’s catbox full of lasagna and be done with it?
While I’m up here on this here soapbox (and I hope one of you bitches is holding my shoes), I have to also mention something I learned over the weekend while trying to avoid eleventy-blue million hours of Super Bowl pregame. Do y’all know what “Freegans” are? They’re apparently some kind of social movement that may in fact be more ass-chappingly annoying than all the other “-an’s” put together.
Here’s their schtick: They get all their food from out of the Dumpsters instead of buying it at the store as some kind of statement about our society’s profligate waste. First off, I hate that smug, greener-than-thou bullshit more than anything — we’re all doing what we can, this isn’t a fucking contest. Not that any of them should be reading this unless they’ve got a computer that’s somehow fueled by a generator that runs on their own poop, but anyway. Secondly, not a damn one of them has a paying job, they just occasionally “barter” for goods and services like this was the goddamn Oregon Trail. Well, eating other people’s garbage and living a “job-free” existence doesn’t make you a hero, it makes you a fucking parasite. You toil not, neither do you spin!
But my biggest problem? These fucks have homes to go to and the ability to do work for pay. How DARE they take edible Dumpster food out of the hands of the TRULY homeless who have no other options? Bad hippie, no biscuit.
PS — Just as a general rule, if I have to put on surgical gloves to go get something… I ain’t gonna eat it.