Stupor Sunday

Just some thoughts that occurred to me before the complete worthlessness of the Steelers’ football-playing abilities put me into a protective coma so I wouldn’t have to see that… seriously, when a PANTHERS fan tells you you suck, you really do.

1.  Not too shabby when you can’t come to accept your humanitarian of the year award because you’re VISITING THE MOTHERFUCKING SOLDIERS IN IRAQ!  You know those other 2 guys just went, “Well, fuck me.”

2.  Who let Dubya out?  Isn’t he still grounded?

3.  Yes, I am that geek who stands up while the National Anthem is on the TV… OHMYDAMN, bitch forgot the words!

4.  I motherfucking HATE pre-game.  Hell is probably just endless pre-game for a game that never happens… and Michael Douglas is there to read his debate team speech.

5.  CUT YO’ DAMN HAIR! You are NOT Troy Polamalu! 

6.  Why can’t Green Bay ever have a quarterback whose last name is pronounced the way it’s spelled?

7.  GODDAMNIT PITTSBURGH!  Oh, fuck it, scoring isn’t important… and neither is fumble recovery YOU DICKS! 

8.  And why not go ahead and give Green Bay the first down, after all, it’s their birthday.  Seriously, Steelers?  THIS is what you brought today?

9.  Judging from these movie trailers… both Harrison Ford and Shia The Beef must have bad gambling debts they need to cover.

10.  John Travolta is really starting to look like an old lesbian.

The funniest thing that happened before I was knocked unconcious by my rage was that fucking Chuckweasel had hit “pause” and then forgot about it — so when I called to bemoan the Packers’ second unanswered TD, he accused me of counting the instant replay as another score.  I said, “What are you talking about?  Are you on a delay?” and he went, “Oh, yeah, I paused it.”  So I gave Chuckweasel a message from the MOTHERFUCKING FUTURE, y’all.  He owes me $3.99 a minute.

P.S.  I was going to defend poor Christina Aguilera by saying she’s not from this country, but she is… so then I was gonna say performing in front of a live audience is very nerve-wracking, but that’s what she does for a living… so I’m just going to say this:  It’s a damn good thing she’s so pretty.

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10 Comments

Filed under La Vida Loca, Random Thoughts, WTF???

10 responses to “Stupor Sunday

  1. I was so disappointed by the result the steelers owe me some compensation yeah that’s right “compensation.”

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    • I would say they should offer us all a personal apology, but I don’t really want Roethlisberger at my house… maybe that cute little Aaron Rodgers could drop by and apologize for winning?

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  2. I’m glad that someone else saw John Travolta. I swore it was him, but everyone else was too busy eating chips and wings to notice.

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  3. Take a deep breath. The game is over. You have…oh, yeah, like five hours before you can be upset about football again. Seriously? The draft is TONIGHT?

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  4. Dear Sweet Mama

    I TRIED to talk you into switching to the Packers, but noooooooo – so tough. My cheesehead sympathy let me do the victory dance. Except my headache left me lying in bed just pretending to do it.

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    • You cannot switch your team allegiance once the season has started. That is why I officially switched the Saints from #2 to #1 before the beginning of this season, bumping the Panthers (damn Panthers) to #2. You then rank the rest of the teams according to preference so that once “your” teams are eliminated, you have a fallback team. Green Bay has always been near the bottom for me due to my insane hatred for Brett Fav-ray, but they may get to move up thanks to cute little Aaron Rodgers.
      (and picking a team because you feel sorry for their fans’ idiotic headgear doesn’t count anyway)

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  5. This is a great recap of the game! I missed it, and I’m not at all sorry I did – especially after reading your fabulous synopsis. Love #9!! LMAO!

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