All Aboard the Bus to Hell

Well, it’s a-snowin’ like a sumbitch again here in Wes’ BYGAWD Virginny, and as usual, the Evil Not-Really-Our-Landlady will NOT NOT ABSOLUTELY NOT get the parking lot cleared.  As we’ve discussed, the redneck hillfolk who live in Ye Olde Apartment Complex don’t go out much, but when they do HAVE to go out (I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say “liquor store”), they are considerably less-than-pleased.  One of them has already backed into another one yesterday (as I watched with poorly-concealed glee while carrying in my groceries) and the hunched-up pissed-offded-ness of them as they try to clean off the nine feet of snow on their cars is a joy to behold.  Guess maybe they ought to go out more often so that thar snow wouldn’t pile up so deep, huh?

While we’re on the subject, my weird domestic behavior continued with the grocery-shopping trip.  I was very excited to go to the Walmart in the middle of Snowpocolypse ’cause that seems to mean nobody else will be there, but it also means that the little bit of a gal who works in the Meat Department (yeah, she handles meat, huh huh) can strike up a conversation with me and basically shame me into buying a pork roast… that I don’t really know how to cook.  But you don’t want to admit that to the little meat girl who seems to think you’re some kind of Betty Crocker person, so you buy the big ol’ vulgar-looking thing and then you sit and stare at it and wonder what one does with such a large whonk of meat.  I’m thinking garlic and barbeque sauce in a low, slow oven, but I may just end up buying it a sweater and telling people it’s my very lazy dog.

His name will be Buford.

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7 Comments

Filed under La Vida Loca, Random Thoughts, Weep for Humanity, WTF???, Ye Olde Apartment Complex

7 responses to “All Aboard the Bus to Hell

  1. Whoa…good luck with the roast! I think I’d have made up some lame excuse to not get the roast: “I’m, uh, uh, a vegetarian? Yeaaaah. That’s it.”

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    • Unfortunately, I had already outed myself as a meat-a-tarian by the enormous packages of stew meat and ground beef in the cart… and by asking the Lil’ Meat Gal where the lamb was (they were out). This is what I get for wanting to make a stew… now I have this huge cylinder of pork in my fridge that Dear Sweet Mama says looks like some kind of farm animal privates.

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  2. Try this
    http://www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/roastporkwithcrackli_67344

    I like my pork with apples, i always do mine boiled for an hour with an apple and onion(peeled) (cut in half ) and some bay leaves. Then I drain the pork and leave it to stand in an oven tray. Then add mustard n honey or cider and anything you like really. then roast for an hour and oh my tis scrummy (I tend to this this for ham more than pork though)

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  3. I’ve never made a pork roast either! I’ve never bought one because I think most pork tenderloins suck, so I don’t bother. The only meat on a pig as far as I’m concerned is bacon.

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    • I’ve done those little tenderloins that you can buy that are already marinated and all… but they do tend to be dry and crappy. This thing, now, THIS THING is the size of my thigh and it’s truly an intimidating piece of pig!

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  4. Pingback: Two Kinds of Hell | hoodyhoo

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