1. …my computer was blocked from accessing WebMD.
2. …someone set my cable controls to block “1000 Ways to Die,” “I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant” and all the shows about weird diseases and parasites and how you can get them and not know it til they kill you… yeah, I shouldn’t be allowed to see that.
3. …the neighbors pitched in to buy soundproofing for my apartment so they could stop hearing me yell “You stupid whore!” at the girls who don’t know they’re pregnant and “That’s why I stay the fuck home!” at the people who get weird foreign parasites.
Actually, I might make a good reality show myself… what with all the yelling at the TV and weird cleaning behavior. At least other crazy people could watch me and feel a little better about themselves… kind of like I do with the weird parasite people.
Also, should I feel bad about myself that I will immediately watch any show about strange medical conditions/addictions/what-have-you? Isn’t this just as sick as going to a freak show at the carnival? But at least these freaks are presumably getting paid in money to be on the TV, not like the old days when they got paid in live chickens or something…
I really should have gone to sleep yesterday instead of watching TV all night.