The First Step…

Alright, kids… I feel we know each other well enough now that I just can’t keep this from you any longer… Here goes.

My name is HoodyHoo… and I watch “Jersey Shore.”

Actually, to be completely honest… I DVR it, because I can’t stand the thought of missing an episode.

I know, I know, you’re disappointed. but come on, I’m only human!  And it’s not like I watch a lot of reality TV — I only watched “Survivor” for a little bit of the first season (until it became clear no one was going to kill and eat anyone else), I don’t watch any of the “So You Think You Can Be the American Idol With the Stars” crap about people dancing or singing or what have you.  I’m not really into the “competition” aspect… I just wanna see people act like trash.  And “Jersey Shore” fills that void quite nicely.

Besides, the show is serving a valuable purpose.  Without “Jersey Shore,” how would we ever teach future generations the proper use of the phrase “Oh, no she di’unt!”  “See, Petey, how that short misshapen girl who looks like a Trollkin had sex with a Weeble Wobble is flailing her arms and telling the cop to fuck off?  Well, if you were standing nearby, you would say, ‘Oh, no she di’unt!”  This would both let the officer know you could serve as a potential witness AND let everyone around you know that you were not associated with that girl.”  That’s PARENTING, folks!

P.S.  My Dennis Quaid reference in the last post (which actually ended up turning into a “Man, I’m old” reference when nobody got it) was about the movie Dreamscape, in which Dennis Quaid is some kind of psychic who can get into people’s dreams and save them from the evil psychics who are trying to use the dreams to kill them.  So Dennis Quaid should have showed up in my dream dressed as a cop and pretended to take me off for “interrogation,” but really he would be rescuing me from the Home for Wayward Teens… now if you’ll excuse me, I think I’m having a different kind of dream about Dennis Quaid in a cop uniform…

PPS: I got distracted… so anyway, I made a reference about the movie Dreamscape and then guess what was on the TV this weekend??? I AM THE MASTER OF THE TV!

PPPS:  I also dreamed recently that Dwayne Johnson moved in across the street from me and Chuckweasel and was very depressed, so we went over to his house and I cooked him some scrambled eggs.  So, basically, I can smell what the Rock is cookin’… and it’s scrambled eggs.  With American Cheese in them, ’cause that’s nature’s Prozac.

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11 Comments

Filed under La Vida Loca, My Secret Shame(s), Random Thoughts, Reality Bites, The Legend of Petey, Weep for Humanity

11 responses to “The First Step…

  1. Yay master of TV, if you could get my TV to STOP SHOWING COOL LATE NIGHT MOVIES I might actually go to bed before 3am and then get up in time to work…please help me, so many movies, so many pretty Hollywood settings, so many interesting plot lines, I cannot watch them all *sob*.

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  2. Sorry, that’s beyond my power… why do you think I was up watching Dennis Quaid at 4 in the morning ON A WEEKEND?

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  3. When I was cruising the channels this weekend, I almost stopped on Dreamscape…I ended up watching In the Army Now instead. Don’t hate me.

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    • Is In the Army Now the one with Pauly Shore? That’s acceptable as well, but if I have to pick my favorite in-the-Army-but-don’t-really-wanna-be movie it’s gotta be Cadence with the I’d-still-hit-that-younger Charlie Sheen!

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  4. I too am cursed with the “Jersey Shore” addiction. I watch it on Hulu, when MTV isn’t running reruns. Last week was so perfect, nearly a marathon of orange and fighting. And when some show (which I can’t remember right now because my attention skills have atrophied to gnat-like si…. oh, look a kitty!) mentioned “GTL” I nearly choked with joy.

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    • I love the fact that the “Jerseyisms” like GTL are now accepted everywhere… and I especially love busting people who pretend they don’t watch it by using a Jerseyism… and they totally know what I mean, so I wonder how that happened?

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  5. I’ve never seen “Jersey Shore.” Not because I’m too good to watch, but because I work nights and am too cheap to pay for TV and DVR. Basically, what I’m saying is I’m watching with you in spirit.

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    • I have to DVR everything, because my work schedule makes me have to go to bed at like 4pm like an octogenarian. I should be able to deduct it as a business expense, but no dice.

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  6. Pingback: Funny Bitch Friday: Hoody Hoo « Oh Noa.

  7. If you run out of “Jersey Shore” episodes, my trashy TV shows are the Real Housewives of New Jersey and Beverly Hills. They make me feel positively classy. I found your blog from Oh Noa’s blog. Very funny!

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