Holiday Hmmms…

So, it’s Christmas Eve and most people probably aren’t reading, but I still have all this crap in my head that simply MUST.GET.OUT. so here goes:

1.  As I was leaving my apartment this morning at Oh-Dark-30 to go to work (yes, working on Christmas Eve, we love the morning news, yes we do’s, yes we do’s)… anyhoo, I noticed that some of the cars in the complex parking lot are still completely covered with snow.  Now, we haven’t had really significant snow of that nature since I’d say maybe last week?  So that means a goodly portion of the redneck hillfolk who live in my complex haven’t been out in a WEEK!!!!! Get some jobs, you redneck hillfolk!

2.  While we’re on the subject of Ye Olde Apartment Complex, the Evil Not-Really-Our-Landlady (she was married to the now-deceased apartment manager and seems to have usurped the position) WILL NOT get anyone up to clear the snow off the lot.  So we got the snow, melt, freeze, ICE cycle going on up in here… and you have to be Brian Boitano to get to your car.

3.  Now an update for all of you who’ve been worried about my ongoing battle with the Fuckers at the Cable Company… I called them up to give them their damn money, and after talking to no fewer than 3 different people, it was determined that 1) they will STILL be holding my services hostage until January 3rd, because apparently someone has to come to the house to hook it back up EVEN THOUGH NO ONE EVER CAME TO TURN IT OFF.  And 2)… my monthly bill will now be LOWER.  So I’m being… rewarded?  For being a deadbeat who won’t pay the bills?  Does the electric company work this way, too?

4.  After 2 years of searching, I have finally got me a Smithfield Paula Deen Ham for Christmas noshing.  I originally saw the ads for the bright-blue wrapped masterpiece with Paula’s own glaze INCLUDED shortly before LAST Christmas, and even though I dragged poor Chuckweasel through every grocery store we passed for the whole month of December… no one had the ham.  So this year, I started stalking the ham before Thanksgiving, and I bought me a Paula Deen ham as soon as I possibly could and have it not go bad before Christmas (about 2 weeks ago).  And Chuckweasel had the gall to ask me WHY we had to get the ham so early… like he doesn’t even remember the Great Ham Drought of 2009.

I think that’s it for now.  Have a Merry Merry and a Happy Happy, and I’ll see y’all next week once the meat-sweats have subsided.  Tell yourmamaan’emsistahs I said hey!




Filed under La Vida Loca, Random Thoughts, Reality Bites

11 responses to “Holiday Hmmms…

  1. Chuckweasel

    I do remember the ham drought that you speak of. I had just forgotten when my mouth flew open without asking. Please don’t hit me again. Lol.


  2. I’m working today, too! That is probably not the correct use of an exclamation mark.

    I love that you name-dropped Brian Boitano, btw.


  3. Cable companies are plain old stupid, i bet they are sat wearing their Bah-humbug hats patting themseves on their backs for more great customer service


    • I just give up trying to understand… I fell like a small child whose mommy spanks her AND gives her a cookie every time she touches the hot stove. “Don’t do that! But here’s a reward!”


  4. We had planned on doing the pre-cooked xmas dinners from the store but got there too late and ended up with sliced deli ham for dinner…my bad.


    • we did the pre-cooked turkey dinner for Thanksgiving last year, and it just tasted… manky. Like plastic? Or feet? FLIP FLOPS! That’s what it tasted like. So, I lost my mind and cried and wailed that I ruined Thanksgiving with my flip-flop turkey, and this year Chuckweasel cooked a very tasty one! Who knew a nervous breakdown could bring out the chef in someone?


  5. I have the evil cable company here, too. I’ve already done the “I’m going to leave you” threat several times, receiving a discount, another discount, and then I think a third discount. But the last time, they called my bluff and I did downgrade. I have not yet tried the deadbeat card. I’m going to do it!


    • why do they have to act like a bad ex? Treat us crappy until we threaten to leave, then come crawling back with flowers and candy? (mmm, candy…)


      • What’s really interesting is I worked for the cable co (*ducks as things whiz by her head*) years ago. I was getting some of their crappiest ever treatment and outright lies, and then one day a friend who worked there asked if I wanted a job. When they hired me, the immediately stopped lying (previously said I need to run my cable underground because it wasn’t there – totaly BS – everyone had it) and then they gave me cable for free! For free cable I might consider working for them again. Maybe. But I don’t like them.


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