So, it’s Christmas Eve and most people probably aren’t reading, but I still have all this crap in my head that simply MUST.GET.OUT. so here goes:
1. As I was leaving my apartment this morning at Oh-Dark-30 to go to work (yes, working on Christmas Eve, we love the morning news, yes we do’s, yes we do’s)… anyhoo, I noticed that some of the cars in the complex parking lot are still completely covered with snow. Now, we haven’t had really significant snow of that nature since I’d say maybe last week? So that means a goodly portion of the redneck hillfolk who live in my complex haven’t been out in a WEEK!!!!! Get some jobs, you redneck hillfolk!
2. While we’re on the subject of Ye Olde Apartment Complex, the Evil Not-Really-Our-Landlady (she was married to the now-deceased apartment manager and seems to have usurped the position) WILL NOT get anyone up to clear the snow off the lot. So we got the snow, melt, freeze, ICE cycle going on up in here… and you have to be Brian Boitano to get to your car.
3. Now an update for all of you who’ve been worried about my ongoing battle with the Fuckers at the Cable Company… I called them up to give them their damn money, and after talking to no fewer than 3 different people, it was determined that 1) they will STILL be holding my services hostage until January 3rd, because apparently someone has to come to the house to hook it back up EVEN THOUGH NO ONE EVER CAME TO TURN IT OFF. And 2)… my monthly bill will now be LOWER. So I’m being… rewarded? For being a deadbeat who won’t pay the bills? Does the electric company work this way, too?
4. After 2 years of searching, I have finally got me a Smithfield Paula Deen Ham for Christmas noshing. I originally saw the ads for the bright-blue wrapped masterpiece with Paula’s own glaze INCLUDED shortly before LAST Christmas, and even though I dragged poor Chuckweasel through every grocery store we passed for the whole month of December… no one had the ham. So this year, I started stalking the ham before Thanksgiving, and I bought me a Paula Deen ham as soon as I possibly could and have it not go bad before Christmas (about 2 weeks ago). And Chuckweasel had the gall to ask me WHY we had to get the ham so early… like he doesn’t even remember the Great Ham Drought of 2009.
I think that’s it for now. Have a Merry Merry and a Happy Happy, and I’ll see y’all next week once the meat-sweats have subsided. Tell yourmamaan’emsistahs I said hey!