I Am a Liar

It’s not my fault, but I must admit:  I lied to the entire state of New Jersey.

Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa.

You see, I went to work yesterday, under orders from The Bosses to lead with weather – even though, as they admitted themselves, it “wasn’t going to be a big deal.”  The National Weather Service was advising “little precipitation, snow changing to rain by afternoon.”

Then this happened.

IMG_20131208_160053_535

Mother. Fucker.

So basically, I told an ENTIRE STATE full of easily-terrified senior citizens that there was nothing to fear… when I should have been issuing a bread-and-milk alert.  Credibility.  I hazn’t got it.

Allow me to once again reiterate for those of you who have not been following along in class:  I AM NOT A METEOROLOGIST.  I was once a “weather girl” very briefly, but that was basically tits-and-ass with a blue screen.  I HAVE NO DOCUMENTED SCIENTIFIC KNOWLEDGE OF THIS SUBJECT.

This is why, when I worked at the TV station, I used to rail and fight so hard AGAINST leading with weather (ask Gilbert, he was present for many of the Attempted Firings of Hoody that resulted from my stand on the subject).  Weather is NOT my business, and I prefer to leave the lying to the professionals.

Thanks for listening to my rant.  I love you fuckers.

HH

P.S.  And don’t worry about me during this unexpected Snowpocalypse.  I have my trusty survival tool:

IMG_20131208_164545_091

Yeah, BUDDY!

6 Comments

Filed under Gilbert, Reality Bites, SCIENCE!, Weep for Humanity, WTF???, Youse Guys, ZOMBIES!!!

6 responses to “I Am a Liar

  1. Sharp cheddar is the only way to go.

    Like

  2. flyingplatypi

    No one can possibly know the weather. Everyone knows real meteorologists just guess. And no one holds THEM at fault. Therefore, no one can possibly blame you!

    Stay safe!

    Hugs!

    Valerie

    Like

  3. Last Tuesday, when this storm hit Wyoming, I was in line in the grocery store and the guy behind me seriously had bread and milk. That’s it. I turned around and accused him of being a YouTube cliche.

    We, by the way, are on day seven below freezing. Most of that was below zero. I’ve never been so excited as I was yesterday when there was water dripping from the side of our house (in the sun, by a furnace vent).

    Like

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